I'm dyspraxic with both C-PTSD and GAD. I exercise religiously, eat very healthfully and thus am very healthy for a middle aged American man. In fact, I had a doctor tell me that he wouldn't be surprised if I reached my 100th birthday. Yet I find myself pondering my mortality probably more so than what would seem reasonable given most of my circumstances.
Much of this has to do with me being a vulnerable road user due to my inability to drive related to my dyspraxia. I thus travel largely by walking and cycling. American roadway infrastructure is very unsafe for pedestrians and cyclists. In fact, the reason why I have C-PTSD is because of all the times I have nearly been ran over by careless and aggressive drivers. I also deal with symptoms of nervous system dysregulation stemming from my C-PTSD. These are health problems that I deal with which stemmed entirely from my environment.
It goes to illustrate how late stage capitalism does not create a healthy environment for anyone, especially neurodivergent people.
I never had the chance to be healthy as an adult because part of recovering from addiction involved treating my schizophrenia, and the antipsychotics have wrecked my body in tandem with my own bad choices
Iām au-adhd/CPTSD and death has been at front of my mind since losing my beloved dad at age 10. For years, I wanted to join him and only the remnants of my faith kept me present in this world. A serious bout of breast cancer was my wake up call, blasting me from the well worn neural pathway āI hate myself, I want to die.ā 12 years on, I work as a funeral director in my tiny community. I re-trained and opened my own business. On some days, I question my motivation. I wonder if I do this work to overcome my own fear of death, or if I do it so that people stay away from me? Either way, I finally cherish this fleeting life.
Did you have the ability to see horrible things and not be upset by them? I have this ability and I donāt understand why. Things do upset me, I feel it but it doesnāt make me cry or throw up. They get seared into my brain, to the point where I can close my eyes and see the injury again in my mindās eye; but I donāt know where they sit in my body. I donāt know how I process them. I donāt know where they go. Somehow Iām functional.
I'm dyspraxic with both C-PTSD and GAD. I exercise religiously, eat very healthfully and thus am very healthy for a middle aged American man. In fact, I had a doctor tell me that he wouldn't be surprised if I reached my 100th birthday. Yet I find myself pondering my mortality probably more so than what would seem reasonable given most of my circumstances.
Much of this has to do with me being a vulnerable road user due to my inability to drive related to my dyspraxia. I thus travel largely by walking and cycling. American roadway infrastructure is very unsafe for pedestrians and cyclists. In fact, the reason why I have C-PTSD is because of all the times I have nearly been ran over by careless and aggressive drivers. I also deal with symptoms of nervous system dysregulation stemming from my C-PTSD. These are health problems that I deal with which stemmed entirely from my environment.
It goes to illustrate how late stage capitalism does not create a healthy environment for anyone, especially neurodivergent people.
I never had the chance to be healthy as an adult because part of recovering from addiction involved treating my schizophrenia, and the antipsychotics have wrecked my body in tandem with my own bad choices
Iām au-adhd/CPTSD and death has been at front of my mind since losing my beloved dad at age 10. For years, I wanted to join him and only the remnants of my faith kept me present in this world. A serious bout of breast cancer was my wake up call, blasting me from the well worn neural pathway āI hate myself, I want to die.ā 12 years on, I work as a funeral director in my tiny community. I re-trained and opened my own business. On some days, I question my motivation. I wonder if I do this work to overcome my own fear of death, or if I do it so that people stay away from me? Either way, I finally cherish this fleeting life.
I was in forensics for a while and I had similar wonders about my own motivations
Did you have the ability to see horrible things and not be upset by them? I have this ability and I donāt understand why. Things do upset me, I feel it but it doesnāt make me cry or throw up. They get seared into my brain, to the point where I can close my eyes and see the injury again in my mindās eye; but I donāt know where they sit in my body. I donāt know how I process them. I donāt know where they go. Somehow Iām functional.
Yes I am largely unphased by things, but i find they sneak into my mind when I close my eyes